how to make a rabbi

Another how-to (and digression, I REALLY want to get to the wedding reception/afterparty). Today I had the privilege of attending the rabbinical ordination of a dear teacher and (hopefully!) lifelong friend. We met through the synagogue my husband and I attend, and she's been with me on this amazing journey of conversion and b'nai mitzvah. For the past five years she has been preparing for this moment, and today marked the culmination of her studies and training as she was conferred the title "rabbi."

The actual ordination process took place in a ceremony somewhat similar to a graduation, except instead of caps and gowns there were yarmulkes and tallit (and plenty of blessings). Although the service was a bit longer than I expected, it was worth every second. I suspected it might be a bit long when I inspected the service program...


Not only were HUC (Hebrew Union College) rabbinical students ordained, but the cantorial students also received their investiture. And, I would like to point out, that the cantorial students also spend a good amount of time in study, sometimes just as long as a rabbinical student.

Each student had a paragraph blurb about their pre-HUC studies and work (one woman had been a social worker since the 70's!), a few sentences about the many and varied Jewish organizations and congregations they interned with during their period of study, and sometimes a bit about their family (hi Mom! just kidding, they were all serious). Each students' bio was remarkable - an Air Force chaplain, a thirteenth (or fourteenth?) generation rabbi and a few almost-rabbis who were married, or soon to be married, to other rabbis.

Since my first shout out went to the new Rabbi G., my next shout out goes to Temple Emanu-El of Manhattan. Never have I been in such a space that felt so "Jewishly" sacred. I think I am somewhat swayed by my Christian background, and the fact that I haven't made aliyah to Israel, but MAN this place is gorgeous.

Here's the rose window that faces Central Park.
This place literally felt 5-6 stories tall.

More stained glass windows. My favorite had a unicorn...didn't get a picture of it.



The ceiling was also gorgeous. The wooden rafters were carved and painted. Simply incredible.

You get a sneak peek of the bimah above. The pillars are alternating colors of marble and the surrounding arches were inlaid tile mosaic. A choir sat in the black area behind the pillars. Their voices literally came out of nowhere and filled the entire synagogue, which BTW, was HUGE. This place can easily fit 500+.

During the actual ordination, the President of the College said a blessing over each new rabbi in front of the open ark of Torah scrolls. In special circumstances where the students had a relation to a rabbi or cantor, that family member came up to say another blessing. What was both good and bad about this portion of the service was that the audience cannot hear what's being said, which, again, is both good and bad. We could see there were lots of tears.

Here is the new Rabbi G. (the IInd!) receiving a blessing from Rabbi G. (the Ist).

And here are the 22 rabbis and 9 cantors.

I actually cheated - this picture was taken at the beginning of the service.

So, mazel tov to Rabbi G.! You've worked so long for this moment - savor it and never forget.

how to say 'i do' in spanish

I know it's been painful, dear reader, but my journey now brings us to the wedding ceremony (finally). As we learned earlier in the day, the ceremony would be entirely in Spanish. We weren't too concerned, as the wedding is truly about the bride and groom, and we were sure we could follow along. However, turns out this was a problem for the groom - he had no idea how to say "I do" in Spanish. Everyone thought this was hilarious, I mean, this guy grew up speaking Spanish exclusively at home and among his friends. As he would explain, though, he knew how to say "I do," but he wasn't sure how to say it appropriately in the context of the ceremony.

As is customary with most weddings, the invites and the couple's wedding website were very clear about the schedule, "ceremony starts at 5:30pm sharp." Well, that certainly wasn't the case as the husband rushed me along and we arrived a bit late to find we were the only ones. I mean, the coordinator wasn't even present! So much for being punctual.

We didn't have to hang around too long before our friends showed up. As we chatted one of them casually mentioned that they didn't think the wedding would start for awhile, not due to the lack of coordinator, but due to the fact that (as they pointed out from where we were standing), the groom and his bridal party were hanging out in undershirts on their balcony. Oy...

Eventually the coordinator made an appearance along with these guys who entertained us until the wedding started - SO awesome.

They brought some dancers too.

The ceremony started about 20 minutes later. Remember the all-Spanish ceremony? Well, it wasn't really a problem for us guests because we couldn't hear anything. Everyone was mic-d up, but there was an uninvited guest that made a big showing, THE WIND. I kid you not, it was CRAZY WINDY.

You can't really tell in the picture below, but one of the bridesmaids is holding the bride's veil to the ground (out of the picture, I try not to take unflattering photos as I would wish the same for pictures of me).

Here's a view of the ocean during the ceremony. See the palm tree and white caps on the water? Told you it was windy.

As the ceremony ended we were in for another treat. The band kicked up again and the dancers lined the walkway with sparklers.

It was really neat and the perfect segue into the awesome party that would follow.

And the "I do"? Not a problem, I'm pretty sure they're married. : )

how does your garden grow

It's really cold here. Not too cold for my little seedlings which I hope will give me delicious pumpkins, tomatoes and squash. Last year's garden was a failure. This is about all we got out of it -

One measly deformed pepper.

Ok, we actually got about six small eggplants, one jalapeno and a measly deformed pepper, but that's about it. Grow little seedings, I have high hopes for you!

Back in Cartagena

Since a happy husband means a happy life, I gave in to the husband and chatted up the reception at the "wedding" hotel. Turns out they had some rooms available for the night of the wedding, so we decided to make a switch in the afternoon before the ceremony. What was nice, too, was that they would be willing to honor the block rate negotiated by the bride and groom. What was not nice was the price, which runs about $300-350 for the base-level room. A happy husband means a happy life. I kept repeating this in my head, also when I opened my credit card bill, and also when I paid said bill. Yuck. It was only one night, and in a way we looked at it as our anniversary celebration since it was close enough to our actual anniversary.

So, without further ado, I give you the Sofitel Santa Clara.

Story goes that the hotel was used as a convent back in the day. Considering it was built sometime after 1620, I'm sure it's had many transformations since then. It definitely has some great details.

The hotel is one square block, with the original structure surrounding an open courtyard and fountain. Not the best picture of the courtyard, but you get an idea.

The new portion of the hotel is built within the pre-existing walls. Our room was on the 2nd floor and over looked the pool. That and some plush bathrobes = BEST EVAR.

The original walls are on the right with the walkway and rooms on the left.

The view from our room to the balcony/pool.

And for ultimate awesomeness, if the impeccable service doesn't win you over (seriously, the service was grade-A prime, but what else would I expect from a Sofitel), they had in-house TOUCANS!

I give you Lucas. There were three or four toucans total, but I think Lucas was the most feisty. The picture below captures him after he bit an unsuspecting passerby. I think Lucas is pretty proud of himself.

And yes, he TALKS. Nice distraction from the price I'm paying to stay there.

Tim Burton and...naked people?

We went to MOMA yesterday to see the Tim Burton exhibit before it closes on Tuesday.

Our friend generously lent us his membership passes (which we bought for his birthday a few months back, perhaps this was planned in anticipation of the Tim Burton exhibit? I'll let you be the judge). The passes were awesome; the husband said he felt like a star, "I just flash my pass and I'm in - no waiting with the rest of these peons!" Even better, we didn't need timed tickets to the Burton exhibition because members can get in anytime. Even, even better, the museum was open until 8:45pm, so we took our sweet time running errands and taking care of business before heading to the city. This was a great thing because there were no timed tickets to be had.

The exhibition was a bit different than I expected, mostly the layout. The gallery was really small for the amount of artwork, props and costumes from Burton's movies, making everything feel crowded together. With so many people jammed in to the space, this certainly didn't help. Perhaps this was intentional, but it did not appeal to me.

Here was one of my favorites...yes, pictures were not allowed, but everyone else was doing it, and I didn't use flash -

They also had a huge Tim Burton blowup in the gallery entrance/atrium.

Rising Currents: Projects for the New York Waterfront was the most interesting and probably my favorite exhibit of the visit. We questioned going in, but it was really enjoyable and had some cool models.

A shifting light overlay of tidal patterns -

Of course, we hit up the rest of the galleries. As I later put it "The modern gallery was my favorite."

Modern furniture and textiles was disappointing because there wasn't enough for me. I guess I can go to the Cooper-Hewitt for these things.

Let's play 'Spot the Calder mobile' -

A performance art exhibit was also going on, Maria Abramovic's The Artist is Present. She was sitting at a table in the upper level of the atrium with an empty chair opposite. Visitors were allowed to walk into the space to sit and face her. There was a twenty-something girl having some sort of staring contest with her as we arrived. Two seconds after our arrival the performance was over, everyone clapped, and she got up to leave. The actual exhibition has been quite controversial - see this Times article. We missed the naked portion of the exhibit because we arrived too late. Oh well, no interesting stories or photos from that.

Until next time, I'll be watching -

they call the wind mariah

The pirate ship was awesome, but soon enough we were back on land. As I said, we had interpreted the invitation to mean there would be some sort of dinner served, but we discovered that pirates only serve alcoholic beverages. There was a small buffet that consisted of: sliced bread, salami, meatballs, chicken skewers and omelette (no, not mini quiches, like a buffet tray of scrambled egg). By the time we had caught up with our friends and gotten around to the food, there were only a few servings left. So, when we returned to the dock, His friend Gumby (yes, that's what they call him) raved about Cafe del Mar for drinks, food and general partying.

This place is actually on top of a rampart on the fortified wall of the old city. Check it out -

The DJ booth was built into the rampart outpost.

Here's a canon with the ocean in the background.
It was seriously pitch black up there with all the tables, DJ, etc.

Not only was it pitch black, but it was loud and WINDY. I couldn't hear anyone and things were literally flying everywhere. We stayed about 45 minutes, but we didn't end up eating because the service wasn't great (see the aforelinked Tripadvisor review, I believe someone mentions the lack of attentive waitstaff). As we were settling the tab, His friend Snoopy - I kid you not, Gumby and Snoopy - lost the equivalent of $20-50 ripped out of his hands by the wind. I chased down the bill and rescued it to much applause. I really can't stress how windy it was.

After a quick cab ride back it was the morning of the wedding. Breakfast at Hotel Zaguan was complimentary, and we enjoyed a tasty meal of coffee, fresh orangey-pineapple-whoknowswhat juice, bread, preserves, fresh papaya and watermelon, and scrambled egg with chunky salsa. The husband said this was the only thing he liked about the hotel, food - go figure.

Oops, this was all I got...

It was probably 9am or so, so we set out to do some exploring. And now I will subject you to the digital-age version of the vacation pictures slide-show.

This is called Las Bovedas

Back in the day it served as a prison, but has been converted to multiple shops that sell overpriced junk like t-shirts, ponchos and knick-knacks. There were a few nice things, but nothing I was particularly interested in purchasing. Except some fake Oakleys and a bottle of water...they got me. As you can see, we were "fortunate" to be sharing our sight-seeing adventure with several boatloads of cruise ship passengers.

Some nice Spanish colonial architecture.

There were new plazas around every corner.
Can't find my map to tell you who this is...

This is the interior of THE Cathedral.

A lesser cathedral. The couple in white at the altar were getting married.

And...
I like my chicken broasted. Alas I did not get a chance to try it.

Never judge a book

So, back to our hotel...

It looked pretty spiffy. But, as you might have noticed, I have not supplied a picture of the room. That's because it was literally a bed with a sheet on it, an ancient mini fridge, a patio chair and an old-school tv on a rickety table. I think there was a tv mounted to the wall at some point, but it fell off. Oh yeah, and the door to the room was of the same construction as the door to the closet in the room - it had a teensy lock that really served no purpose other than to keep the door closed. I say door, but what I really mean is screen/room divider. The saving grace was a/c, at least it had that. It wasn't on yet, so it was painfully hot and humid in the room. The husband was not impressed or amused. I don't think it helped that I hadn't stopped giggling at the situation (come on, this NEVER happens to us!) and his annoyance.

Personally, I could care less about the hotel. It was clean and relatively cheap given the circumstances. I'm really only bringing this up because the hotel isn't on Tripadvisor, so I couldn't write a review.

On a sidenote, the husband is crazy about reviews. Case in point, about three years ago he says "we need a fan." Ok, I have an Amazon.com credit of $25, so I pick out a fan within my $25 budget. I mean, it's free, so whatever. Fan comes, we turn it on, it works, we're good. Nay, we are not good. I am still berated to this day for not vetting my fan purchase. So the fan isn't great, but it works, it circulates air. BTW, here's the fan. And BTW, it does suck.

Back in reality, we had about two seconds to change - somehow the husband managed to get in a shower, which he complained about endlessly - then we trekked over to the "wedding" hotel to make our way with the rest of the group to the rehearsal dinner. There was no actual rehearsal (similar to our wedding), so it was really just a pre-party.

Here's where the "dinner" took place -

Nice...

Can you see where this is going?

...a galleon ship.

We had interpreted the invitation wording "rehearsal dinner" and "cruise" as "fancy schmancy hors d'oeuvres" and "yacht." We were both SUPER excited when we found out that the Phantom took it to the next level.

Pirates.

This pirate was in a bit of a hurry, but you get the idea.

TOTALLY unexpected, but really fun. And we got some great views of the newer areas of the city (we stayed in the "old city," which means within the fortified walls, the "new city" is a bunch of beach-front resorts, high rise hotels and offices).

I'm really proud of this picture, thank you trusty Canon Powershot, mostly because I took it in the pitch black on an unstable galleon ship.

At this point we had been in Cartagena for, oh, 5 hours. I love vacation.

P.S. Happy birthday to my husband.

We laugh together...

(is that guy flying in a beach chair?! He seriously had a fan propeller strapped to the back of it)

and laugh (cue seagull eating rotten fish head)...

...and laugh.

Yes, that is mule dung and a mule peeing. I'm glad we weren't the only ones who saw the humor in the situation.

I love you! : )

No room at the inn

There we were, stranded in a foreign country with people to see, places to go and things to do, and no hotel...By now the husband was sweating profusely and it wasn't just the humidity.

The reception attendant struggled to understand the problem, probably due to my inability to speak Spanish, go figure, and even as I presented the multiple room reservation e-mails I exchanged with the hotel staff, he came around to realizing that no one had logged our reservation. Naturally, none of the responsible parties answered their phones... Unbelievable. Of course the husband was regretting that he gave me the responsibility of finding the hotel when we had previously discussed staying at the "wedding" hotel.

I can't even begin to describe the amount of work I put into travel arrangements. Anyone who knows me knows that I (almost) always get the best deal. Seriously, the catchphrase "never pay retail" is my mantra. In a way, this was an exception because I was more than willing to pay their rate, but I thought the prices at the "wedding" hotel were ridiculous. Prices started at $350 a night compared to the more modest Casa del Curato that started at $100 a night and was conveniently 50 feet or so from the "wedding" hotel.

After much begging on our part, the attendant called several nearby/related hotels to find a room for us. Although I thought it was amusing, the husband wasn't amused at my insistence that we would not pay more than the rate we had negotiated with Casa del Curato. The attendant definitely understood this request (or demand). Several calls later, we had some options and chose the closest hotel, Hotel Zaguan.

We decided to walk since it was a block down the street and around the corner. While it was close, when you're dragging luggage, nothing is as close as it seems. I saw the humor, again, the husband did not. ANYWAY, here's where we ended up...

Nice...

Looking pretty good...

Ooh a balcony AND a soaking pool, pretty good for $100 a night...

or so we thought. First impressions were deceiving.